What did you like about Nikki, Jed?

(long pause)

(I opened my mouth to rephrase the question.)

Why do you ask now, Doc.?

(Jed is always evasive. I've gotten better prepared with this habit of his to manipulate a conversation.)

"To see what makes you attractive to women, especially someone like Nikki Harden. She's not really your usual."

And what is my usual?

(This is prime example of his manipulation of a conversation. Must use something directly harsh here.)

"She was damaged mentally and physically when she came to us. There was nothing seductive or dangerous to whet your interest, was there? So what was the initial thing about her that attracted you?"

(pause)

(There was a quiet distance in his demeanor.)

I mostly kill, Doc. Or seduce, which sometimes can be a bit like an assasination. To save someone, bring her back from the brink of total darkness, give her what she needs, that's something maybe someone like me might appreciate a little more than a scientist and a doctor. On the other hand, perhaps I found her the ultimate seduction challenge. Or perhaps, even I can't resist the temptation of being put on a pedestal and be viewed a savior.

"Self-mockery, Jed?"

(a ghost of a smile)

You're getting to know me too well.

"Surely, spending two years with Nikki meant more to you than just her needing you to save her."

Who said it wasn't the other way round?

(My turn to pause. Jed does like to give me twists and turns to think about.)

So why did you pick La Vita Nuova, Jed?

(pause)

Some things just have no words, doc. Sometimes you think what you see is an echo, when in reality, it's the past events that were the echos and reflections, and the real thing finally appears.

"Io mi senti’ svegliar dentro a lo core
Un spirito amoroso che dormia:
E poi vidi venir da lungi Amore
Allegro sì, che appena il conoscia....

Dicendo: “Or pensa pur di farmi onore”;
E ’n ciascuna parola sua ridia.
E poco stando meco il mio segnore,
Guardando in quella parte onde venia,

Io vidi monna Vanna e monna Bice
Venire inver lo loco là ‘v’io era,
L’una appresso de l’altra maraviglia;

E sì come la mente mi ridice,
Amor mi disse: “Quell’è Primavera,
E quell’ha nome Amor, sì mi somiglia."

That's in Chapter 24, in case you're interested.

(small smile).

Dr. Kirkland: So who is your Vanna and who is your Beatrice?

(silence. Smile widens)

Question: What is it about Hell, Jed?

Intermundia, the space between the worlds. I like it, doc. You've been playing with my dictionary, haven't you?

Since we're dealing with frustrated women here, I'll play along. For now.

And yes, let me get straight to the point. I like her. Very much. The thing about Elena--she's fearless about her nakedness. It's as if she has nothing to hide. We both know that's a universal improbability when it comes to operatives like us; we all have something to hide.

I like her naked. Very much. But I want more than what I see. How far would she let me strip her, layer by layer, until I....

Do you think a woman can hide that deep from a man? The way Elena moves her hips. The way she rubs the side of her nose when she's thinking. The things she do when she is herself. Intriguing, isn't it? Take an operative out of the field for two years, and certain habits reappear. So what is inside her that makes me feel so good when I'm inside her?

Blushing, doc? I didn't mean it that way, although physical intimacy with her takes the edge off like no one else can.

(pause)

And what if I do find that essence that is Elena Rostova...what then? That's a question for which I need an answer. I think I've talked enough for now to fill up that little space between your world and mine.

Incipit Vita Nuova, doc, as Dante would say, in his long-winded style. One of my favorite books, actually. (smiles knowingly)

--JED